The Dark Side of Self-Care

Joanne Louis-Paul • January 28, 2022

Here to Thrive: Tips for a Happier Life x Kate Snowise

Here to Thrive with Kate Snowise logo
  • Self-care is anything that renews or restores your emotional, physical, and/or spiritual energy
  • The 7 Types of Rest x Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith
  • Passive self-care 
  • Doesn’t require much effort
  • More restful in nature 
  • Taking a bubble bath, watching your favorite show, etc.
  • Active self-care 
  • Requires effort, discipline, and commitment
  • Things you may not really want to do
  • Eating well, exercise, therapy, journaling, decluttering, etc.
  • Usually provides the greatest gains Re: energy restoration and well-being

  • Self-care can be used as an excuse to continue maladaptive coping behaviors
  • Procrastination
  • Avoidance
  • Numbing out
  • Not everything that looks healthy is healthy
  • Overinvesting in either takes something restorative and makes it damaging
  • If your future self won’t thank you for it, it’s not self-care
  • Overinvesting in passive self-care - can be used as an excuse to bail out on life’s responsibilities
  • Binging Netflix and deprioritizing sleep 
  • Overindulging in your favorite treats
  • Reading books while ignoring your family
  • Overinvesting in active self-care - can be used as an attempt to control things 
  • Obsessing over nutrition to the point where joy is lost 
  • Overexercising
  • Obsessing over self-care routine and self-improvement, leading to anxiety
  • How to avoid the dark side of self-care
  • Ask yourself - 
  • Is this nourishing and restoring me?
  • Will my future self thank me for this tomorrow and the next day?
  • Is this self-care or am I just numbing out or being avoidant?
  • Am I ultimately being kind to my mind, body, and spirit?
  • If there’s any doubt, be honest with yourself and explore it further
  • Don’t overcorrect 
  • Push back against the productivity and perfection culture


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