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At the heart of WIT’s success is the power of community. We all know what it’s like to try to achieve something alone versus with the help of others. The latter tends to create a far easier and more dynamic experience. Change requires energy and momentum forward and we are far more likely to drum those up with the support of others than on our own. When we tackle our problems together, we have the benefit of seeing the same problem from multiple perspectives, which brings about more creative solutions and sharper revelations. Not only do we get this from our weekly group calls, but also from our daily dyad check-ins. These are all opportunities to let another set of eyes in on our program to gain a more well-rounded perspective on the best path forward. Though our goals are individual, we don’t have to work on them alone. Whether you’re just starting with WIT or you’ve lost track of how many cycles you’ve participated in, we encourage you to lean into your group members more than ever. Take some time before your scheduled check-in calls to really think about the current state of your program – challenges, successes, and potential pitfalls ahead (read: shadow behaviors) – and share them with your partner. Most importantly, make sure you’re seeking feedback whenever you can. You don’t have to incorporate everything you hear, but a wise person seeks the counsel of many other wise people, and thus, succeeds more often.
We have entered into a time of year that can either be full of immense joy or incredible sadness. We don’t all have families or the families we want and a lot of deep wounds can bubble up to the surface. How can you stay on track? One thing to remember is that whatever your program is, you created it to care for yourself. If you’re feeling lonely, self-abandonment may seem appealing, but it will only make the loneliness worse. Even if no one else is showing up for you, you can still show up for yourself. Lean on your WIT community for extra support. You have a whole group of fellow shadow hunters who are willing to stick beside you in the dark.
We are four weeks away from the finish line. Have you fallen asleep at the wheel? This is the point in the cycle when folks tend to get antsy to reach the end. If your program has been going well, you may become a bit bored, with the initial excitement of achievement fizzling out. If your program has been challenging, you probably just want to be done with it. Either way, how can you inject fresh fuel into your tank to finish strong? We encourage you to look at your legs with new eyes. Is there a little twist you can add to them to make them feel new? Remember, you’re not locked into anything beyond your initial commitments at this point, so have fun with it! If one of your legs has to do with going to bed at a certain time, why not try to read one chapter a night of a book you’ve been meaning to get to? If you’ve been practicing healthier eating habits, try one new recipe a week. It certainly couldn’t hurt and you just may find yourself feeling reinvigorated about your program!
Whenever we are looking to make a change, it can be difficult to gauge our progress accurately. We have a tendency to magnify the deficits and minimize (or completely ignore) the gains. Those of us who suffer from perfectionism can become impatient, having unrealistic timelines for results. And the whole process can feel like a slog. We’re encouraging you to take a balanced look at the current state of your program by asking yourself the following questions: What was my intention when I created my program? Did I set myself up for success? Am I where I thought I’d be at this point in the cycle? What’s going well with my leg(s)? If I’m unhappy with my progress, what can I do to course-correct? Don’t forget to lean on your dyad partner for support and a more objective perspective. We need others to get a better view of ourselves.
Life is full of stressors. A mean boss, a defiant toddler, rising financial obligations, and the list goes on. How do we keep on track with our programs in the face of all this? Having a support group cheering us on and holding us accountable is one piece of it. Another is being honest with ourselves. We invite you to take a look at your “shadows,” or the regressive, compulsive, or addictive behaviors that crop up when you’re feeling angry, sad, lonely, or tired. Shadow behaviors can look like: Overeating Overworking Procrastination Self-isolation Take some time this week to sit with yourself, write down your shadow behaviors, and consider making yourself accountable to a current WIT participant. It can be as simple as sending a text when you feel like going to the fridge when you know you should be going to bed. We need to know what we need before we can ask for help, so we hope you’ll dig a little deeper to find those shadows and then reach out for support.
One more week to go and we are thinking about service. The old adage “It is better to give than to receive” is a time-tested truth. We grow as people whenever we put others before ourselves. Directing our attention outward helps us to forget about ourselves for a while, gain some perspective, and be more connected to our fellow humans. Here are some prompts to consider this week as we wrap up our summer cycle: What have I gained from participating in WIT? How can I use what I’ve been given to help someone else? Who in my life could use some extra support right now? Taking some time to mediate on these questions will unveil ways you can step outside of yourself to come alongside someone else, both in and outside of the WIT community. We hope you’ll come to ask yourself “How can I use what I’ve been given to help someone else?” more and more regularly until it becomes a part of who you are.
With just a few weeks left to go, now’s the time to be vigilant about potential shadows around completing the cycle well. What comes up for you when you’re about to finish something? Do you become energized and give it all you’ve got or do you start to take your foot off the gas and cruise? If your cycle has been very challenging up to this point, you make be at a higher risk of giving up. If you’ve been rocking out your program this whole time, overconfidence may lead to making mistakes. Having reflected on your progress a couple of weeks ago, we hope you will take the insights you gained and keep them top-of-mind as you navigate this final stretch.
As we approach the final third of our cycle, it’s a great time to reflect on where we started, how far we’ve come, and what’s ahead. Regardless of how well (or not well) you’ve been performing so far, now’s the time to decide how you can finish strong. Below are some questions to help guide you this week. We encourage you to spend some time sharing your answers with your dyad partner and receiving feedback on your progress. It’s very easy for us to focus on our deficits and minimize our accomplishments, so this can prove to be a very positive and encouraging conversation. What is the core outcome I was looking to achieve when I created my program? How does where I am now compare to that vision? What, if anything, could I have done differently to better design my program? What shadow(s) should I be on the lookout for over these next few weeks and how can I lean into the group and my dyad partners for greater accountability around them? If my program is going smoothly, what do I need to be aware of to stay sharp? We hope you’ll lean into your group this week and get the support you need to get to the finish line successfully.
We’ve already reached the halfway point of the summer cycle, can you believe it? We’ve been focusing on clearings this week, which can be a crunchy subject for many. Confrontations can easily bring up past wounds and fears of rejection and/or abandonment, which is why they are so easy to avoid. However, we’ve all been in a situation where avoiding conflict hurt more than it would have to just deal with it, so it’s an important part of what we do here at WIT. The name of the game is shadow-hunting and conflicts are usually fraught with them, so let’s look at a few questions we can ask ourselves before clearing with anyone: What is the data around my charge? What deeper wound is my anger pointing toward? How does this person’s behavior mirror back my own patterns or false self-beliefs? It’s important to note that clearings are not really about the other person, but ourselves. This doesn’t dismiss their wrongdoing but rather gives us an opportunity to tackle the things that are within our control – our reaction, what we do with the impact, and taking ownership of our part. If you have a charge against someone in WIT and are uncomfortable with approaching them alone, feel free to reach out to a facilitator you trust and they will be more than happy to be there to help you through it!