COOL READS & VIDEOS

Staying the Course

Mon, 20 Oct 2025 13:58:06 GMT

Does your program have a compass? Sailors know the critical importance of having one at all times. A compass provides reliable direction, especially in fog, storms, or at night when visual landmarks are absent.

For some of you, this cycle has been smooth sailing so far. You’re working your plan, leaning into your dyad calls, and keeping steady. For others, your program may feel a bit foggy or even stormy.

If you identify more with the second group, maybe now’s the time to find your compass. Reflecting on and writing down why you created your legs in the first place can be a powerful tool to get you back on track. Maybe you’re struggling because you lost sight of your destination. Remembering why you started this journey may help you reset and find new motivation to stay the course.

And never forget that you’re not alone in the boat. Seek the wisdom of the group to keep you afloat!

Halfway There

Wed, 26 Feb 2025 16:06:20 GMT

Now that we are just over halfway through the spring cycle, it’s time to pause and reflect. Take a moment to assess where you are in your journey. Think back to the expectations you had for yourself at the start of this cycle. Are you farther along than you anticipated, or has the process been more challenging than expected?

Take this week to think and journal about these questions:

How strong or weak do you feel?
Are you enthusiastic and energized, or resistant and bored?
Are you super-solid, or just hanging on by your fingernails?

Share your reflections with your dyad partners and be open to feedback. Sometimes we’re harder on ourselves than we should be and letting another person into the process can bring balance and even lightness where we may only see darkness.

By acknowledging where we are, we gain clarity and empower ourselves to make intentional adjustments. Let’s continue with renewed focus and determination.

Surviving the Holiday Season

Mon, 11 Nov 2024 19:36:51 GMT

The holiday season can conjure up a mix of emotions. For some of us, it’s a magical time of year and for others, it’s a quagmire of fractured relationships and trigger points, with seasonal affective disorder complicating things even further.

If the latter rings more true for you, we want to encourage you to take the next month as an opportunity to make different choices when dealing with yourself and others. What can you do to make this year better? How can WIT be a healthy distraction?

Here are some things to consider around your program to increase your sense of wellbeing:

Get sun. If you have a fitness leg, consider braving the cold and taking it outside one day a week. Increased exposure to the sun equals more vitamin D and higher levels of serotonin, and the crisp weather has been proven to make the body burn more calories.

Sweet cheat. If you have a nutrition leg, plan it out in such a way that you’re able to indulge a little at celebratory meals. If your family is a source of stress, it may be nice to have the option to comfort yourself a bit while around them. We’re not advocating you go off the rails but it could be a drag to have to practice lots of self-control in a high pressure environment. Be realistic and set yourself up for success.

Frontload. Get your program done early during the weeks where your routine may be out of whack due to travel and family obligations. Again, we want you to anticipate potential stressors and prepare for them. You may not be able to control delayed flights or petty fights but, with the help of your accountability community, you can choose to get your program off your plate so it’s one less thing you have to worry about.

We hope this holiday season is your best one yet!

Shadowhunting

Mon, 21 Oct 2024 14:26:00 GMT

So much of what we do is rooted in shadow work, which is the concept of looking for and exposing the hidden motivations behind our actions.

Shadows can be negative (like a habit of self-sabotage as we near the completion of a goal) or they can be positive (like being unable to recognize a good quality in ourselves but admiring it in others). Good, bad, or ugly, we want to shine a light on what’s going on inside of us so we can better navigate reality. [read more]

Negative shadows, if left unchecked, can lead to incomplete programs, trips to the wilderness, and worst case scenario, being asked to leave the cycle. We want to see each of you succeed, not just to check something off your list, but to walk away empowered with new knowledge of who you are and what makes you tick.

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself to help uncover what lies beneath the surface:

How do I react to stress?
What’s my favorite way to decompress after a long day?
When things don’t go my way, how does it make me feel and what do I do about it?

The answers to these questions can expose bad habits, addictions, or limiting self-beliefs that keep us stuck. The good news is that, once we know what we’re doing wrong, we can start to do something about it. Share your insights with your dyad and/or phalanx/sacred heart partner this week and invite them to share their feedback.

You may be surprised at how freeing this process is!

Clearing the Path

Mon, 26 Feb 2024 21:50:20 GMT

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Stronger Together

Tue, 13 Feb 2024 21:19:19 GMT

At the heart of WIT’s success is the power of community. We all know what it’s like to try to achieve something alone versus with the help of others. The latter tends to create a far easier and more dynamic experience.

Change requires energy and momentum forward and we are far more likely to drum those up with the support of others than on our own.

When we tackle our problems together, we have the benefit of seeing the same problem from multiple perspectives, which brings about more creative solutions and sharper revelations. Not only do we get this from our weekly group calls, but also from our daily dyad check-ins.

These are all opportunities to let another set of eyes in on our program to gain a more well-rounded perspective on the best path forward.

Though our goals are individual, we don’t have to work on them alone. Whether you’re just starting with WIT or you’ve lost track of how many cycles you’ve participated in, we encourage you to lean into your group members more than ever.

Take some time before your scheduled check-in calls to really think about the current state of your program – challenges, successes, and potential pitfalls ahead (read: shadow behaviors) – and share them with your partner.

Most importantly, make sure you’re seeking feedback whenever you can. You don’t have to incorporate everything you hear, but a wise person seeks the counsel of many other wise people, and thus, succeeds more often.

Winter is Coming

Mon, 27 Nov 2023 17:43:04 GMT

We have entered into a time of year that can either be full of immense joy or incredible sadness.

We don’t all have families or the families we want and a lot of deep wounds can bubble up to the surface.

How can you stay on track? One thing to remember is that whatever your program is, you created it to care for yourself. If you’re feeling lonely, self-abandonment may seem appealing, but it will only make the loneliness worse.

Even if no one else is showing up for you, you can still show up for yourself.

Lean on your WIT community for extra support. You have a whole group of fellow shadow hunters who are willing to stick beside you in the dark.

Are You Asleep At The Wheel?

Mon, 20 Nov 2023 19:53:41 GMT

We are four weeks away from the finish line. Have you fallen asleep at the wheel?

This is the point in the cycle when folks tend to get antsy to reach the end. If your program has been going well, you may become a bit bored, with the initial excitement of achievement fizzling out.

If your program has been challenging, you probably just want to be done with it.

Either way, how can you inject fresh fuel into your tank to finish strong? We encourage you to look at your legs with new eyes. Is there a little twist you can add to them to make them feel new? Remember, you’re not locked into anything beyond your initial commitments at this point, so have fun with it!

If one of your legs has to do with going to bed at a certain time, why not try to read one chapter a night of a book you’ve been meaning to get to? If you’ve been practicing healthier eating habits, try one new recipe a week.

It certainly couldn’t hurt and you just may find yourself feeling reinvigorated about your program!

Checking In With Yourself

Tue, 24 Oct 2023 18:50:31 GMT

Whenever we are looking to make a change, it can be difficult to gauge our progress accurately. We have a tendency to magnify the deficits and minimize (or completely ignore) the gains.

Those of us who suffer from perfectionism can become impatient, having unrealistic timelines for results. And the whole process can feel like a slog.

We’re encouraging you to take a balanced look at the current state of your program by asking yourself the following questions:

What was my intention when I created my program?
Did I set myself up for success?
Am I where I thought I’d be at this point in the cycle?
What’s going well with my leg(s)?
If I’m unhappy with my progress, what can I do to course-correct?

Don’t forget to lean on your dyad partner for support and a more objective perspective. We need others to get a better view of ourselves.

What Do You Do When You're Stressed

Thu, 12 Oct 2023 18:46:46 GMT

Life is full of stressors. A mean boss, a defiant toddler, rising financial obligations, and the list goes on. How do we keep on track with our programs in the face of all this?

Having a support group cheering us on and holding us accountable is one piece of it. Another is being honest with ourselves.

We invite you to take a look at your “shadows,” or the regressive, compulsive, or addictive behaviors that crop up when you’re feeling angry, sad, lonely, or tired.

Shadow behaviors can look like:

Overeating
Overworking
Procrastination
Self-isolation

Take some time this week to sit with yourself, write down your shadow behaviors, and consider making yourself accountable to a current WIT participant. It can be as simple as sending a text when you feel like going to the fridge when you know you should be going to bed.

We need to know what we need before we can ask for help, so we hope you’ll dig a little deeper to find those shadows and then reach out for support.

Giving Back

Mon, 07 Aug 2023 14:30:00 GMT

One more week to go and we are thinking about service.

The old adage “It is better to give than to receive” is a time-tested truth. We grow as people whenever we put others before ourselves. Directing our attention outward helps us to forget about ourselves for a while, gain some perspective, and be more connected to our fellow humans.

Here are some prompts to consider this week as we wrap up our summer cycle:

What have I gained from participating in WIT?
How can I use what I’ve been given to help someone else?
Who in my life could use some extra support right now?

Taking some time to mediate on these questions will unveil ways you can step outside of yourself to come alongside someone else, both in and outside of the WIT community.

We hope you’ll come to ask yourself “How can I use what I’ve been given to help someone else?” more and more regularly until it becomes a part of who you are.

The Summit

Mon, 17 Jul 2023 15:40:41 GMT

With just a few weeks left to go, now’s the time to be vigilant about potential shadows around completing the cycle well.

What comes up for you when you’re about to finish something? Do you become energized and give it all you’ve got or do you start to take your foot off the gas and cruise?

If your cycle has been very challenging up to this point, you make be at a higher risk of giving up. If you’ve been rocking out your program this whole time, overconfidence may lead to making mistakes.

Having reflected on your progress a couple of weeks ago, we hope you will take the insights you gained and keep them top-of-mind as you navigate this final stretch.

Helping Each Other Get to the Top

Wed, 05 Jul 2023 14:27:46 GMT

As we approach the final third of our cycle, it’s a great time to reflect on where we started, how far we’ve come, and what’s ahead.

Regardless of how well (or not well) you’ve been performing so far, now’s the time to decide how you can finish strong.

Below are some questions to help guide you this week. We encourage you to spend some time sharing your answers with your dyad partner and receiving feedback on your progress. It’s very easy for us to focus on our deficits and minimize our accomplishments, so this can prove to be a very positive and encouraging conversation.

What is the core outcome I was looking to achieve when I created my program?
How does where I am now compare to that vision?
What, if anything, could I have done differently to better design my program?
What shadow(s) should I be on the lookout for over these next few weeks and how can I lean into the group and my dyad partners for greater accountability around them?
If my program is going smoothly, what do I need to be aware of to stay sharp?

We hope you’ll lean into your group this week and get the support you need to get to the finish line successfully.

Focusing on Clearings

Thu, 29 Jun 2023 17:37:55 GMT

We’ve already reached the halfway point of the summer cycle, can you believe it?

We’ve been focusing on clearings this week, which can be a crunchy subject for many. Confrontations can easily bring up past wounds and fears of rejection and/or abandonment, which is why they are so easy to avoid.

However, we’ve all been in a situation where avoiding conflict hurt more than it would have to just deal with it, so it’s an important part of what we do here at WIT.

The name of the game is shadow-hunting and conflicts are usually fraught with them, so let’s look at a few questions we can ask ourselves before clearing with anyone:

What is the data around my charge?
What deeper wound is my anger pointing toward?
How does this person’s behavior mirror back my own patterns or false self-beliefs?

It’s important to note that clearings are not really about the other person, but ourselves. This doesn’t dismiss their wrongdoing but rather gives us an opportunity to tackle the things that are within our control – our reaction, what we do with the impact, and taking ownership of our part.

If you have a charge against someone in WIT and are uncomfortable with approaching them alone, feel free to reach out to a facilitator you trust and they will be more than happy to be there to help you through it!

Forest for the Trees

Wed, 29 Mar 2023 17:52:55 GMT

Our spring cycle is nearing the end and we’d like to use this time to reflect on where we started and where we are now. Sometimes, we can lose the forest for the trees, especially if we find ourselves with a tank or two under our belts or feeling a bit uninspired by our progress.

We hope you’re one of the folks who has had a buoyant experience with your program, but if you’re feeling a bit dissatisfied this week, we invite you to reflect on the following questions to get some perspective:

What is the core outcome I was looking to achieve when I created my program?
Was this goal realistic?
How does where I am now compare to that vision?
What, if anything, could I have done differently to better design my program?
What did I like about my program?

Our own progress can be hard to track, so we encourage you to lean into your dyad partner this week to process your experience in an honest and gracious way.

Sacred Heart

Mon, 06 Feb 2023 19:22:04 GMT

The end of our first month is almost here. We’ve locked in our programs and have just introduced the Phalanx and Sacred Heart Circle. This will provide extra support around our programs, now that they are in full swing.

Folks can have mixed feelings about these extra weekly calls, which is totally normal. You now have two new calls to schedule each week and there’s more of an energetic demand. However, these more in-depth check-ins are proven to help participants succeed at a higher rate than without them. Also, for many, this is one of the few times in their day-to-day lives where they can have space held for them to share what’s on their hearts and just be heard.

Here are some best practices that we have seen help folks get the most out of the Phalanx and Sacred Heart Circle:

The person covering the heart should reach out to the person whose heart they are covering to initiate scheduling
They should initiate scheduling as soon as possible
Each pair should agree on how much time they will set aside for the call beforehand
The person covering is there to listen only ; they can ask for permission to ask clarifying questions and/or provide feedback, but they should not be checking in around their program at all
If you miss each other the first time around, it is customary for the coverer to leave a message and call at least once more

Our Spring 2023 cycle has just commenced

Mon, 23 Jan 2023 19:41:31 GMT

Our Spring 2023 cycle has just commenced and we’re so happy you’re here.

The start of a new cycle is always very exciting. It brings the promise of another try and new beginnings. It’s easy to get caught up in this energy and dream big (which we encourage!).

However, WIT is a warrior program, first and foremost, so we want to make sure you’re positioning yourself to not only dream big, but do great things. We want to see you succeed week after week and operationalizing your program is central to that.

This means drawing out measurable steps to reach your goals. Doing this forces you to break down each leg and think about the smaller, repeated actions necessary to get you to the finish line. It also makes it easy for you and others in your group to know whether or not your program is intact. Operationalized goals help to maintain the integrity of the container.

For example, if one of your legs is to eat healthier, operationalizing it could look like:

Eating a maximum of 1500 calories a day for a minimum of four days a week
Replacing lunch with a fruit smoothie a minimum of three days a week
Eating at least three veggies a day a minimum of five days a week

Each of these are very measurable, easy to track and verify, and will accomplish your goal of eating healthier.

We have this week to test out our programs before locking them in, so now would be a great time to focus on how doable your legs are as you’ve set them up and figure out what tweaks may be necessary before the commitment ceremony next week. Your check in calls with your dyad partner are a really good opportunity to workshop and reflect on your ideas.

Here’s to new beginnings that lead to success!

Nearing the Finishing Line!

Mon, 28 Nov 2022 14:01:40 GMT

We only have two weeks left in our fall cycle and this time tends to be a bit of a mixed bag for folks.

Some of us get excited about the end in a way that energizes us to finish strong. This kind of motivation usually comes from an optimal program that has been executed fairly smoothly over these last couple of months.

For those of us feeling more like we’re “ready to get it over with,” these last couple of weeks can be a drag. If this sounds like you, we want to encourage you to lean on the strength of the group now more than ever.

Consider keeping the following five questions in front of you:

What is the core outcome I was looking to achieve when I created my program?
How does where I am now compare to that vision?
What, if anything, could I have done differently to better design my program?
What shadow(s) should I be on the lookout for over these next few weeks and how can I lean into the group and my dyad partners for greater accountability around them?
If my program is going smoothly, what do I need to be aware of to stay sharp?

Setting aside some time to journal about these questions and/or discuss them with your dyad partner over the next couple of weeks will be a helpful tool to keep you on track, bring a fresh pair of eyes to your progress, and refocus your sight on crossing that finish line.

You don’t have to do this alone!

The Master Key to Influence

Mon, 07 Nov 2022 18:13:02 GMT

(How to Overcome Procrastination) x Myron Golden

As the final third of the fall cycle approaches, many of us find ourselves very motivated by our programs and some have even started to voluntarily expand past our initial expectations. Our 10-minute journaling sessions have spilled over into 30 minutes in the blink of an eye. Our 30-minute walk around the neighborhood has sprung into signing up for our first 5K. It’s a great feeling!

However, some of us are finding our program, or certain aspects of it, to be a shlog. What may have begun as a world of exciting possibilities has now become a cage we can’t wait to break free from. This is a dangerous place to be in and puts us in danger of tanking, going into the wilderness, or even being asked to leave the cycle.

Listen to gifted speaker and businessman, Dr. Myron Golden, explain how we can have more faith and overcome the procrastination we may be struggling against.

Key Takeaways

Procrastination is never the problem; it’s always the symptom of a problem - anxiety
People are singularly motivated - we only do what we feel like doing
If you have the right attitude, the facts don’t matter
When we observe a fact, we frame it and that framing becomes our focus
All facts have a negative side and a positive side
How we frame a fact creates a belief and that belief manifests itself as either faith or doubt
We are constantly manufacturing beliefs about the circumstances going on around us, but it’s our belief about those circumstances that makes us either happy or sad
Our beliefs and our focus travel into our hearts and create feelings and we act from there
When our feelings are driven by faith, they create a sense of anticipation
Anticipation is the energy that we get when the outcome we expect is desirable
When our feelings are driven by doubt, they create anxiety
Anxiety is wasting present energy on a future outcome that is undesirable to us
Anxiety is the thief of our dreams
Worrying about something makes it happen
Our feelings send energy to our hands to function
When driven by anticipation, that energy is called power
When driven by anxiety, that energy is called powerlessness

Phalanx + Sacred Heart Circle

Tue, 11 Oct 2022 18:31:27 GMT

We are in our fourth week of the fall cycle and have just introduced our Phalanx and Sacred Heart Circle. As mentioned on our calls, the phalanx and sacred heart circle derive from the ancient Greek battle formation where each soldier covered the heart of the soldier to their left with their shield.

We use this imagery for these calls because WIT is a warrior program, first and foremost. We’re here to get things done together . The added support of these calls has proven time and again to be highly impactful in keeping us on track.

As we approach our first phalanx/sacred heart calls, we want to reiterate the format:

One person is covering the heart of the other
The person whose heart is being covered has the floor exclusively
The person covering the other’s heart can ask questions and mirror back what they hear with permission
It’s best to establish beforehand how much time each person has for the call

If you have any questions about how it works, please reach out to one of our facilitators. They’ll be more than happy to help!

Staying Sharp

Mon, 18 Jul 2022 18:57:27 GMT

As we approach the last third of our summer cycle, we invite you to take a deeper look into what’s been working and not working with your programs.

At this point in the cycle, if our program is not running on all four cylinders, we can become fatigued, anxious to finish, and/or bored. Shadow tends to rear its (sometimes) ugly head and tempt us to take our foot off the gas and lose sight of the road ahead of us.

As we go into this next week, hold the following five questions in front of you:

What is the core outcome I was looking to achieve when I created my program?
How does where I am now compare to that vision?
What, if anything, could I have done differently to better design my program?
What shadow(s) should I be on the lookout for over these next few weeks and how can I lean into the group and my dyad partners for greater accountability around them?
If my program is going smoothly, what do I need to be aware of to stay sharp?

Setting aside some time to journal about these questions or discuss them with your dyad partner over the next couple of weeks will be a helpful tool to keep you on track, bring a fresh pair of eyes to your progress, and refocus on the road ahead.

Here’s to finishing strong!

Clearings

Thu, 07 Jul 2022 18:35:55 GMT

It’s hard to believe that we are already halfway through the Summer Cycle! This week, we’re focusing on conflict resolution, or what we refer to as “clearings.”

This can be a challenging and triggering subject for many. Depending on our upbringing, we can either be very good at confronting relational issues or very avoidant (and, certainly, many of us fall somewhere in the middle on this spectrum).

Clearings can bring up core fears of abandonment, rejection, and/or dealing with our or the other person’s anger. Some of us grew up in homes where no one ever expressed anger and some of us grew up in homes where anger was the only acceptable emotion to show. Either of these systems sets us up for having a tougher time addressing issues in our personal and professional lives.

The good news is: Conflict resolution is a learnable skill that is never too late to obtain! We invite you to take this week to think about the people in your life (in and outside of WIT) who you have a charge against and reach out to them to clear it.

Before you do, check in with yourself with these three questions:

What is the data around my charge?
What deeper wounds is my anger pointing to or triggering?
How does this person’s behavior mirror back my own limiting or false self-beliefs?

Remember, clearings are not about the other person. Though they may have actually done something hurtful, the healing and release comes from recognizing that there is something within us that we’re seeing in them. We can’t change the other person, but we can make different choices for ourselves and that is truly powerful.

How to Make Affirmations Actually Work

Wed, 22 Jun 2022 13:02:35 GMT

We are now in our fourth week of the Summer Cycle. We’ve locked in our programs and are now testing out our affirmations. Some of us are familiar with them and have used them before and maybe some of us are new to the concept altogether.

Whichever you are, take a few minutes to check out this practical video on how to get the most out of your affirmation and step into a better version of yourself!

Here are some key takeaways:

Repetition is one way to get through to the subconscious mind
Subconscious → conscious
Once we become aware of a habit, it becomes a choice
Awareness gives us power to choose
Repeating affirmations while looking in the mirror has a powerful effect
Biggest missing key to affirmations for most is the lack of emotion when saying them
Emotion is a powerful force
It allows us to transcend the logical and create greater momentum
The subconscious mind often speaks in the language of emotion
Emotion comes from what we truly believe about ourselves
Repetition vs. incantation
Incantation engages body movement, tonality, and enthusiasm to produce more emotion
Incantations help us to be more present in the moment and make our affirmations more visceral
Visualization allows us to feel like what we want for ourselves is already here
Letting go of a specific outcome leaves room for things to happen even better than we expected

Resistance as a Pathway to Change

Tue, 29 Mar 2022 15:10:28 GMT

This week, we are looking at resentment and resistance. We often experience resistance as a negative, but what if we were able to take it as an opportunity to dig a little deeper instead?

Author and business strategist, Melinda Wells, shares her provocative deep dive into the idea of resistance, and how by embracing resistance, we can realize positive change.

Change is difficult for many reasons and Wells does a great job of presenting the good that can come out of the hard.

We hope this will help you as we come towards the end of the cycle!

Lastly, we wanted to announce that registration is now open for the Bridge and Summer Cycle! The Bridge/Taste of WIT begins Sun., 4/24 , and the Summer Cycle begins Mon., 5/23 . We hope to see you there!

Healing the Seeds of Comparison

Mon, 07 Mar 2022 14:18:10 GMT

By Jason McGrice

Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” The apostle Paul wrote that he had learned to be content in all situations while in prison. The common wisdom being shared is to be grateful for whatever it is you have – whether it be regarding finances and other material resources, the relationships in your life, or your own talents and abilities.

In WIT, we can find ourselves wishing we were better at the thing we’ve created a program for and comparing ourselves to others more proficient in it. This is an often under-recognized side of shadow. We’re used to talking about the negative things we see in others that are reflections of ourselves, but rarely do we remember that, when we truly admire another person, it also points to some unintegrated part of ourselves we need to claim.

Listen to this 10-minute guided meditation on freeing yourself from the trappings of comparison by healing group facilitator, Jason McGrice, recommended to our greater community by Sunday night co-ed participant, Betsy Fernbach! It’s through the InsightTimer app, which can also be found on our Utilities page .

Three Ways to Resolve A Conflict

Mon, 21 Feb 2022 20:09:16 GMT

This week, we’re tackling conflict resolution. We refer to this process as a “clearing” and perhaps there’s someone in your group that you need to have a clearing with.

Though the WIT approach is centered around Jung’s concept of shadow work, this brief TED Talk by leading mediator and Project Manager, Dr. Dorothy Walker, on the steps to resolving any conflict, is relevant to all approaches, I judge.

Doing clearings is an important part of keeping our containers safe and, though we’ll only be dedicating this week’s calls to them, remember that you can always reach out to any participant you feel you have a charge against to clear the air. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that on your own, please reach out to a facilitator about scheduling a mediated clearing!

The Five Love Languages

Mon, 14 Feb 2022 00:47:59 GMT

“The Five Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman is no secret to those in the personal development world, but we thought Valentine’s Day would be the perfect time to reflect on the life-changing principles of this bestseller!

For those who don’t know, Dr. Chapman created a theory on and classification system of basic relationship needs. He posits that we all have the same deep-seated desires and needs in our most intimate relationships: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Receiving + Giving Gifts, and Quality Time.

According to him, we all have all of these needs to a certain degree, but we each have one or two that are most central to our sense of security in love. He further refines his theory by distinguishing between expressive and receptive love languages. For example, you may feel secure in your relationship when your partner verbally affirms you, but you may express your love for your partner through acts of service.

Our expressive and receptive love languages can also change over time. No wonder so many couples struggle with effectively communicating their care for each other! This Valentine’s Day, if you haven’t already, sit down with your partner and take the 5 Love Languages quiz. The insights you’ll gain are sure to be a wonderful jumping off point for a whole new way of relating to and understanding each other!

Whether you’re single or in a relationship, have a great Valentine’s Day and remember: love is all that matters!

The Dark Side of Self-Care

Fri, 28 Jan 2022 18:12:19 GMT

Here to Thrive: Tips for a Happier Life x Kate Snowise

Self-care is anything that renews or restores your emotional, physical, and/or spiritual energy
The 7 Types of Rest x Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith
Passive self-care
Doesn’t require much effort
More restful in nature
Taking a bubble bath, watching your favorite show, etc.
Active self-care
Requires effort, discipline, and commitment
Things you may not really want to do
Eating well, exercise, therapy, journaling, decluttering, etc.
Usually provides the greatest gains Re: energy restoration and well-being
Self-care can be used as an excuse to continue maladaptive coping behaviors
Procrastination
Avoidance
Numbing out
Not everything that looks healthy is healthy
Overinvesting in either takes something restorative and makes it damaging
If your future self won’t thank you for it, it’s not self-care
Overinvesting in passive self-care - can be used as an excuse to bail out on life’s responsibilities
Binging Netflix and deprioritizing sleep
Overindulging in your favorite treats
Reading books while ignoring your family
Overinvesting in active self-care - can be used as an attempt to control things
Obsessing over nutrition to the point where joy is lost
Overexercising
Obsessing over self-care routine and self-improvement, leading to anxiety
How to avoid the dark side of self-care
Ask yourself -
Is this nourishing and restoring me?
Will my future self thank me for this tomorrow and the next day?
Is this self-care or am I just numbing out or being avoidant?
Am I ultimately being kind to my mind, body, and spirit?
If there’s any doubt, be honest with yourself and explore it further
Don’t overcorrect
Push back against the productivity and perfection culture

Dr. Zach Bush - Health Resource

Fri, 19 Nov 2021 18:50:04 GMT

Often people join WIT with health and wellness needs and goals.

I found Dr. Bush’s educational youtube videos and his online courses very inspirational and instructive on how to develop and maintain a healthy lifestyle in a holistic way. I recommend it as a resource for folks who are struggling with health challenges.

Reuben Modek

Motivational Speech - October 2021

Fri, 05 Nov 2021 17:34:33 GMT

I like Leo’s motivational Podcast a lot. He is a spiritual philosopher who gets to the heart of why it makes sense to work on one’s self and make the most of the life we’ve been given. He even discusses doing whatever it takes at one point.

I recommend this as an inspirational resource to any WIT participant.

Reuben Modek, Humble Lion

The Artist's Way

Fri, 29 Oct 2021 18:32:28 GMT

We’re at the halfway point of the cycle, can you believe it? I can’t. I thought now would be a good place for me to share my own progress this cycle working through The Artist’s Way .

For those who don’t know what The Artist’s Way is, it’s a 12-week self- or group-led program aimed at reclaiming the artist that lives in all of us. Author Julia Cameron is a novelist, playwright, songwriter, and poet, and The Artist’s Way is perhaps her most influential work.

WIT brother, Scott Halkyard, had told me about it last cycle and had recommended I make that my WIT program this time around and I’m grateful that I took his advice. The two components I’ve committed to the group are the Morning Pages (journaling three pages in the morning) and the Artist Date (a weekly commitment to do something alone that fosters my creativity) and it’s been amazing!

The journaling piece has been huge for me, as my focus in these next few months is to slow down internally and align with the seasons. Journaling has been helping me to shed a lot of jumbled thoughts and clear my mind to make more discerning decisions as I think about hibernating in the Winter and seeing what sprouts in the Spring.

I encourage you all to read the book for yourselves , whether you’re a traditional artist or not, because the point Cameron drives home is: we are all artists and we were all made for creativity.

Happy shedding, friends!

Dear Evan Hansen

Fri, 22 Oct 2021 17:08:43 GMT

Thoughts on this new movie

Last night I watched the newly released film, Dear Evan Hansen. It touched me deeply and reminded me of the powerful inner work we do on the WIT journey. The movie is a story of isolating personal secrets that, when held tightly, lead to pain and tragedy. Eventually, the plot demonstrates the liberating power of truth-telling and reconnection. An inspiring, thought-provoking, and emotionally cathartic film. I highly recommend it to anyone who is on the path of healing and growing.

VIEW THE TRAILER

In Love And Service,

Reuben

Humble Lion

If you have any additional resources or utilities that you would like to recommend for the WIT community, submit them here .

How Fortune Favors the Brave

Fri, 15 Oct 2021 17:06:33 GMT

Podcast Interview by Lewis Howes with Ryan Holiday

Ryan Holiday - one of my favorite writers and creator of the podcast The Daily Stoic - is a regular go-to of mine. In this episode, he sits down with Lewis Howes, host of another one of my favorite podcasts, The School of Greatness , to discuss Ryan’s new book, “ Courage is Calling .”

It is striking how so many of our concepts and themes from WIT are part of the conversation! Their conversation touches on such topics as:

Habits
Discipline
Not doing it alone
Showing up
How fear is actually a good thing and how it’s a sign you are on the right track
Why people struggle to find courage and how they overcome it by facing challenges
Putting ourselves out there

They discussed concepts like how each person’s program MUST be personal and how, for some, their program may be to do less. They also talked about how one’s program can often be a paradox and how we need the wisdom of others to see what’s really needed for ourselves.

I would also highly recommend Ryan’s book, “ Courage is Calling ,” which I am reading right now and find incredible in how much of it ties so perfectly into WIT ! In the book, Ryan goes into vivid detail about many of the concepts we banter about in WIT, such as:

How fighting for each other leads to incredible heroism
The courage and unity of the Spartans (perfect timing for our Phalanx!)
How great courage can often mean some time spent in the Wilderness

Ryan describes the incredible feats that the bond and brotherhood held by Admiral Stockdale and his fellow prisoners in captivity made possible. They would tap the code “US” to each other (short for “Unity over Self”) to help them overcome and persevere their many years as POWs. Amazingly, this exact subject came up just yesterday in our group’s meeting where one of our members was describing the power of the Phalanx and how it has been key to helping him keep his own program intact in previous WITs!

I hope this powerful talk inspires you on your journey. We are stronger together!

Here is a link to the Podcast and the show notes:

https://lewishowes.com/podcast/how-fortune-favors-the-brave-with-ryan-holiday/

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-school-of-greatness/id596047499?i=1000537443704

Play is More Than Fun - Dr. Stuart Brown

Fri, 01 Oct 2021 13:47:11 GMT

Play is anything but silly; it’s crucial

This week is the last week to pin down our programs for the remainder of the Cycle and I thought this TED Talk on the importance of play was apt.

Since WIT is a warrior program, we often don't consider a play-centric leg for our programs. We think it’s silly or like we’re being too easy on ourselves. This presentation by research scientist and founder of the National Institute for Play , Dr. Stuart Brown, proves that play is anything but silly; it’s crucial.

Take a listen. Even if you don’t create a play leg, this paradigm shift on the nature and function of play could help change your perspective on your program and your life!

My takeaways:

Play is serious
Play is an altered state
When two people are in play, the right sides of their brains sync up
Helps with problem-solving
Born by curiosity and exploration
Different types of play

Body play - desire to get out of gravity (ex. jumping up and down)
Object play - links the mind and the hands
Social play - helps us belong
Rough-and-tumble play - great learning medium to develop emotional and cognitive regulation
Spectator/ritual play - like watching sports
Imaginative play - creative solo play, storytelling

Many neurocognitive benefits to play
Important for our survival
Opposite of play is not work, but depression
We are designed to play our whole lives
Sharing play signals with each other builds trust
Neoteny - the continuation of immature behaviors into adulthood

Humans are the most playful, which contributes to our adaptability

We each have our own play history
Flow State

Energized focus
Full engagement
Sense of success

Incorporate different types of play throughout your whole life

Getting Things Done

Thu, 23 Sep 2021 17:55:53 GMT

Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity

The Getting Things Done (GTD) system has been a mainstay of my personal organization system since I first adopted it in WIT back in 2004. I can't recommend it enough!

The GTD methodology is fluid with the times and will work for anyone, regardless of your preferred way of organizing and/or use of various technologies (or lack thereof). David keeps things simple and realistic and I am still using it strongly after all these years!

It's all about getting things out of my head and into my “trusted system” and could better be called “How to NOT Get Things Done and Be OK with It.” :) Seriously though, I have peace of mind most of the time because I trust my system and know I am not forgetting anything and that it's all there when I am ready to work.

If I recall correctly, the way I operationalized my program around this was to dedicate 3 hours per week on the system. In the beginning, setting it all up, I far surpassed the minimum. And, after a few weeks, the time commitment perfectly fell into a key practice form GTD called the Weekly Review. The WIT weekly time commitment was KEY to adopting the Weekly Review as a habit during that very first session.

Many other WITters have also adopted GTD over the years, so you are in good company if this looks like something that would be of benefit in your life!

Hope this helps,

Michael

The Psychology of Self-Motivation - Scott Geller

Fri, 03 Sep 2021 17:53:55 GMT

Learn how we can become self-motivated

I think this talk can be very helpful as we start to think about what our programs will be in the approaching cycle. Framing our legs as choices, working towards positive gains, and receiving feedback from each other put us in the best position to succeed!

I’ve shared my takeaways below. Happy listening!

Beyond boundaries - rules and accountability

How do we become inspired to do more than we have to; to do more because we want to, not because we have to?

Self-motivation

Feeling empowered by choice
When we perceive choices, we become motivated
Reframe goals positively as choices and opportunities

Three questions to ask yourself to feel empowered

Self-efficacy - Can I do it?
Response efficacy - Will it work?
Consequences - Is it worth it?

Positive reinforcement (success-seeking) - when we work towards a positive consequence, we feel more motivated
Negative reinforcement (failure avoidance) - when we work to avoid a negative consequence, we feel controlled
When we feel competent , we become more self-motivated

Receiving people’s feedback and recognition encourages us to continue

Community

Social support is critical
People who are connected to others feel happier
We need to be humble enough to receive feedback
We need each other

Listening to Shame with Brene Brown

Fri, 06 Aug 2021 16:22:24 GMT

Learn to break free from shame

As we come to the end of this cycle, I wanted to share a great TED Talk about shame by research professor and acclaimed public speaker, Brené Brown. Here are some of my favorite points from the talk:

Vulnerability is not weakness
Vulnerability is emotional risk, exposure, and uncertainty

An accurate measure of courage

Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change
We need to talk about shame - “The swampland of the soul”

It needs to be walked through

“ It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming ; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” - Theodore Roosevelt
Shame tries to keep you small and hold you back

Our shame is our own worst critic
Shame asks “Who do you think you are?”

Shame vs. Guilt

Shame is a focus on self (“I am bad”), guilt is a focus on behavior (“I did something bad”)
There is a strong correlation between shame and addiction, depression, violence, etc. and an inverse correlation with those behaviors and guilt
Guilt is uncomfortable, but adaptive

Shame is organized by gender

For women - do it all, do it perfectly, and never let them see you sweat
For men - do not be perceived as weak

Shame is a cultural epidemic

Shame grows with secrecy, silence, and judgement
Empathy kills shame

Vulnerability connects us to each other

How to Build Habits Like an Entrepreneur

Thu, 22 Jul 2021 19:53:20 GMT

Optimal Living Daily: Personal Development & Minimalism

Here are my notes and thoughts on this quick little gem. The podcast is only about 10 minutes long and comes from a daily feed of positive, helpful ideas called “Optimal Daily Living.” Whether you’re an entrepreneur or not, the principles in this podcast are super helpful.

Core of Entrepreneurship and various tie-ins building successful habits:

Entrepreneurs are scrappy
They typically use a lot of trial and error
Similar approach to habit creation has shown to be highly effective

Entrepreneurs’ Best Practice for going to market with something new (and how to use same methodology towards habit formation):

MVP - Minimally Viable Product (somewhat working beta version)

Get going as quickly as possible
Keep it as simple as possible to start
Take feedback and revise for version 2.0

MVA - Minimally Viable Action - Starting point for new habits

Keep the end goal in mind
Take most efficient and scrappiest way to get going - emphasise starting something rather than trying to be perfect on first attempt
Easy, simple, and repeatable - Don't try to go too big too fast
Test, improve, repeat

How does it feel?
Make it manageable

Pivot

Gives opportunity to change the behavior
Or kill it if it’s not working
Leads to what ends up working

How to Let Your Actions Dictate Your Feelings

Thu, 08 Jul 2021 20:52:58 GMT

Habits of Success - Ian Warner, Track Olympian

So often when we get stuck, we let our feelings dictate our outcomes. This 10 minute podcast will guide you through letting your actions dictate your feelings. Here are some of our notes below:

Can’t be controlled or swayed by feelings
Becoming successful at something is hard work and brings up many challenges along the way

This can lead to discouragement and a loss of “feeling like it”
Easy to quit at this point

When your feelings run your life:

“I don’t feel like doing that”
“I don’t feel like getting up”
You don’t do anything if you’re not motivated in the moment
Can’t control your feelings, but you can control your actions

The challenge is to get started on the task despite not feeling like it

Your feelings will change

Make a final choice to stop letting your feelings dictate your behavior
When we decide to stick to our plan despite our feelings, we actually feel more accomplished, confident, and encouraged
We are always either losing or gaining confidence in any area in our lives

Never neutral
When we skip out on our plans, we lose confidence in those habits
When we stick to our plans, we gain confidence

Three things to overcome feelings

Have a daily Must Do List (not To Do) - things that have to get done that day
Purposely do uncomfortable things on a regular basis (e.g., taking a cold shower when you love hot showers) - builds confidence in doing uncomfortable things
Think long-term - what do you want in the future? - Focusing on the endpoint builds motivation

Habit Stacker app - free habit tracker app

The Simplicity of Tiny Habits Will Change Your Life – BJ Fogg, Ph.D.

Thu, 24 Jun 2021 17:05:00 GMT

Behavior Design (vs behavior change)

What does a “Whatever It Takes” mentality look like? It looks like dedication to your life and wellbeing.

We all want to improve things about ourselves. Some of us struggle with staying organized, others with getting enough sleep or exercise, and so on...

Maybe the mountain we keep circling has been in our way for decades? Maybe we’ve given up on ever conquering it?

In this episode of Dave Asprey’s “Bulletproof Radio” podcast, behavior scientist, Dr. BJ Fogg, explains how it’s the smallest changes that make the biggest difference.

He coined the term "Behavior Design," which differs from behavior change in that it refers to a specific set of models and methods used to create new habits, relying on simplicity and tiny tweaks, ingrained as habits, which really add up over time!

His years of research show that willpower is not the way and, just because your habit hasn’t taken root yet doesn’t mean it never will.

This is a really interesting listen for anyone interested in making positive personal changes!

How to Stop Screwing Yourself Over, TED Talk by Mel Robbins

Fri, 25 May 2018 16:55:33 GMT